“It's because people are so perishable. That's the thing. Because for everyone you meet there is a last moment, there will be a last moment when your hand slips from theirs, and everything ripples outwards from that, the last firmness of a hand in yours that every moment after becomes a little less firm until you look down at your own hand and try to imagine just what it felt like before their hand slipped away. And you cannot. You cannot feel them. And then you cannot quite see them, there's blurry bits, like you're looking through this watery haze, and you're fighting to see, you're fighting to hold on, but they are perishing right before your eyes, and right before your eyes they are becoming that bit more ghost.” History of the Rain by Niall Williams
Current Music
The Same as the Others by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo OST
“It is not that I have accomplished too few of my plans, for I am not ambitious; but when I think of all the books I have read, and of the wise words I have heard spoken, and of the anxiety I have given to parents and grandparents, and of the hopes that I have had, all life weighed in the scales of my own life seems to me a preparation for something that never happens.”
– Yeats, Reveries Over Childhood and Youth, 1914
Current Music
Ideal of Hope by Hans Zimmer from Man of Steel OST
"Daily contending betwixt pride and poverty; a mournful relict of misspent youth; a walking dial, with two hands pointing to the lost hours" - John Tristman, 1756
Today awoke from a dream about my ex-. I was in some kind of city bus (Why? I've not been on a bus since the autowallahs went on strike some 4 years ago). I saw her and immediately turned my face away, looking out of the window pretending that I'd not noticed and waiting for her to see me first. I remember her eyes widening in recognition and then she was like me, acting as if hadn't seen me either. Somehow she was later sitting next to me - it was dawn, the light flooding from the windows. At one point I thought she whispered something but I was not sure. The rest of the journey was in silence.
back in mera bharat mahaan after 3 weeks in Europe. the last was spent with bergemot and her family. I saw her after exactly a year, if this pattern continues, our lives will unspool like a film with a frame-rate of 1 year per second.
the greatest personal growth of course was seen with T_. This time I could play with him, and focused on the 'crashing cars' game, popular with his demographic. hopefully i'll be one of the 'cool uncles' in his life as he grows up.
While last year was warm & sunny, this time the land still held fealty to King Winter. consequently fewer activities incl. a failed trip to the opera for Das Rheingold. bergemot with other hopefuls bravely stood on the opera steps in immortal tradition hoping for spare tickets. for some reason was moved by the scene, don't know why...
we all went on a day trip to Regensburg. i did the usual thing with burning a mixtape for the drive. later was quite shocked to see how closely it matched last year's Constance trip. has there been no evolution? must try to break out of this narrow valley....
while we had a Tunisian evening to close the previous trip, this time it was an authentic Russian pancake evening, a specialty of bergemot. good stuff, reminded me of steamed dosas. then a few rounds of Association played with two russians, two germans, a mexican and a indian. 'a good time is guaranteed for all' as they say.
